Wednesday, June 20, 2007

10 Totally Stupid Ideas That were Successful

1. Million Dollar Homepage

1000000 pixels, charge a dollar per pixel – that’s perhaps the dumbest idea for online business anyone could have possible come up with. Still, Alex Tew, a 21-year-old who came up with the idea, is now a millionaire.

2. SantaMail

Ok, how’s that for a brilliant idea. Get a postal address at North Pole, Alaska, pretend you are Santa Claus and charge parents 10 bucks for every letter you send to their kids? Well, Byron Reese sent over 200000 letters since the start of the business in 2001, which makes him a couple million dollars richer. Full Story

3. Doggles

Create goggles for dogs and sell them online? Boy, this IS the dumbest idea for a business. How in the world did they manage to become millionaires and have shops all over the world with that one? Beyond me.

4. LaserMonks

LaserMonks.com is a for-profit subsidiary of the Cistercian Abbey of Our Lady of Spring Bank, an eight-monk monastery in the hills of Monroe County, 90 miles northwest of Madison. Yeah, real monks refilling your cartridges. Hallelujah! Their 2005 sales were $2.5 million! Praise the Lord. Full Story

5. AntennaBalls

You can’t sell antenna ball online. There is no way. And surely it wouldn’t make you rich. But this is exactly what Jason Wall did, and now he is now a millionaire. Full Story

6. FitDeck

Create a deck of cards featuring exercise routines, and sell it online for $18.95. Sounds like a disaster idea to me. But former Navy SEAL and fitness instructor Phil Black reported last year sales of $4.7 million. Surely beats what military pays.

7. PositivesDating.Com

How would you like to go on a date with an HIV positive person? Paul Graves and Brandon Koechlin thought that someone would, so they created a dating site for HIV positive folks last year. Projected 2006 sales are $110,000, and the two hope to have 50,000 members by their two-year mark.

8. Designer Diaper Bags

Christie Rein was tired of carrying diapers around in a freezer bag. The 34-year-old mother of three found herself constantly stuffing diapers for her infant son into freezer bags to keep them from getting scrunched up in her purse. Rein wanted something that was compact, sleek and stylish, so in November 2004, she sat down with her husband, Marcus, who helped her design a custom diaper bag that's big enough to hold a travel pack of wipes and two to four diapers. With more than $180,000 in sales for 2005, Christie's company, Diapees & Wipees, has bags in 22 different styles, available online and in 120 boutiques across the globe for $14.99.

9. PickyDomains

Hire another person to think of a cool domain name for you? No way people would pay for this. Actually, naming domain names for others turned out a thriving business, especially, when you make the entire process risk free. PickyDomains currently has a waiting list of people who want to PAY the service to come up with a snappy memorable domain name. PickyDomains is expected to hit six figures this year. Full Story

10. Lucky Wishbone Co.

Fake wishbones. Now, this stupid idea is just destined to flop. Who in the world needs FAKE PLASTIC wishbones? A lot of people, it turns out. Now producing 30,000 wishbones daily (they retail for 3 bucks a pop) Ken Ahroni, the company founder, expects 2006 sales to reach $1 million.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

The TeleMarketer Fun Game

Everyone has gotten a call from a telemarketer, the new Scourge of the
Telephone System. Previously when the phone rang, you always wondered
if it was someone you knew or another nimrod with something to sell.
Well, the time has come to turn the tables. We need to take control
of our own phones. We need to take the "market" out of
"telemarketing."

PREMISE

Telemarketers take the brute force approach to making sales. If you
talk to a whole bunch of people, someone will buy what you're selling.

COUNTER-TACTIC

Waste as much of their time as you can. Each minute that you waste
means several potential customers that will not be reached. Make
telemarketing unprofitable. Hanging up only increases the chances for
them to make a sale. Don't let this happen

HINTS

Most of the preliminary stuff is done by someone making minimum wage,
reading from script. Let him/her finish. It's easy points (see
SCORING below), and besides, you were watching "Star Trek" and weren't
using your phone anyway. It's easy to keep a telemarketer interested
using attentive grunting, similar to when your mother calls.

SCORING

BASIC POINT SYSTEM
Each minute spent on the phone..............................10 pts/min
Getting transfered to someone who makes more
than minimum wage..........................................15 pts
Each minute spent on the phone with person making
more than minimum wage.................................25 pts/min
BONUS POINTS
Getting telemarketer to repeat part of the script............5 pts ea.
Getting answers to stupid questions.........................15 pts ea.
Changing the subject............................................50 pts
Making the telemarketer angry..................................175 pts
Making the telemarketer hang up................................750 pts
Call back, get his/her boss on the phone, and tell
him/her the telemarketer hung up on you.................1,500 pts
Getting their 1-800 number......................................10 pts
Checking the number a week later and it's busy or
disconnected............................................5,000 pts

EXAMPLE

[phone rings]
You: Yes?
Them: Hi, I'm with Fly-By-Night Carpet Cleaning and we're in your
area (...)
[start clock->]
Them: (...) would like to know if you're interested.
You: Sure.
Them: Well, we are currently offering (...) depending on the size of
the rooms.
You: Well, how much for the whole house? [15 bonus pts]
Them: Let me transfer you to __XXX___
[transfer]
Them: Sir/Ma'am?
You: Yes? [25 pts/min]
Them: How large is your house?
You: Oh, about 2,000 square feet.
Them: [calculates amount] Well, that would be about $xxx.
You: [duh?] It won't hurt the floor, will it?
Them: Oh, no! We use a [...explanation--this usually takes some
time...] and is completely safe.
You: [duh?] Even with my pets?
Them: Oh, yes. The chemicals we use [...]
You: Do you have to pre-treat, since I have pets?
Them: Yes, and we do that with [...]
You: [getting a repeat] But the original offer was for $39.95, does
that include treating for pets?
Them: [...]
You: [subject change] Well, it *is* kind of dirty. The guys were
over for the game. Did you see the Cowboys vs. the Rams?
Them: Yes.
You: What a game! That last touchdown pass! Wasn't that a great
play?
Them: Well, back to your house...
You: Oh, yes. Well, what about moving the furniture?
Them: [...]
You: [subject change] Do you clean furniture, too? Those guys
spilled some beer. Have you smelled old beer on furniture
before? But what a game, eh?! I couldn't believe they couldn't
move the ball in the second quarter... [...]
Them: [getting angry] Ahem...would you like us to come out?
You: Well, when could you come out?
Them: How about next week?
You: Hmmm... morning or afternoon?
Them: Either would be fine.
You: Do you have anything the week after?
Them: Sure. Can I put you down for Tuesday?
[Okay, let's try for those last big bonus points:]
You: Well, I don't think it matters, since I have all hardwood floors
here.
Them: [click!] [Yes! 750 points!]

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

11 Alarm Clocks to Wake the Living Dead

Do you hate your alarm clock?

The snooze button is one of my favorite things. Whoever invented the snooze button must surely be the most popular guy in the Land of The Living Lazies! I mean imagine the alarm clock ringing at an unearthly hour in the morning and all you have to do is press the snooze button. Uninterrupted sleep for another 5-10 minutes! Ahh... a few minutes more of precious sleep.

And believe me, hitting the snooze button can definitely go on for a very long time. I speak from experience. However, after one particular snoozy occasion and a missed job interview, I decided I needed an alarm clock that would definitely wake me up.

In my search for the ultimate alarm clock, I found many alarm clocks that claim to do the job of waking someone up. But, if you are someone that won't wake up for the average alarm clock, you need something extra special

For those sleepy heads, I found alarm clocks designed to wake up all different types of sleepers.

Here are my finds for the 11 alarm clocks I thought good enough to practically wake the dead:

1. Alarm Clock for Those Who Like to Get Their Motors Going

Drag Race Alarm ClockDrag Race Alarm Clock

You can start your day with the engines roaring with this 8,000 horse powered wake up call.

With its realistic lights and drag racing sound effect, this Drag Racing Alarm Clock will surely get your speeding around in the morning.

2. Alarm Clock For Those Who Like A Good Shock:

The Shocking Alarm ClockThe Shocking Alarm Clock

This Alarm Clock is one of my favorites.

I would love to place it in my guest room for all those who come to visit but don't leave fast enough.

The Shocking Alarm Clock is just plain nasty, as it not only wakes you up in the morning but to turn it off you've got to be shocked.

3. Alarm Clock For Those Who Love Their Money:

SnuzNLuz Alarm ClockSnuzNLuz Alarm Clock

If ' just 5 more minutes is what you promise yourself each time the Alarm Clock goes off and you hit the snooze button this is just the Alarm Clock for you.

SnuzNLuz-WiFi Donation Alarm donates a specified amount ( a minimum of $10 no less!) of your real money to your most hated charity/ non-profit everytime you hit the snooze button.

4. Alarm Clock For Those Who Like to Shake Things Up:

Sonic Bomb Alarm ClockSonic Bomb Alarm Clock

Guns are not for you but you don't mind a little noise and excitement? Go and get yourself the Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock with a bed shaker. The Sonic Bomb Clock has an adjustable volume alarm with a maximum loudness of 113 decibels ( which is the equivalent of a power saw right next to your ear). If that's not enough to wake you up, you can also slip the bed shaker that comes with the alarm clock under your mattress to get you rocking early in the morning! If you have a penchant for more punishment, you can always hit the snooze button to repeat this torturous cycle of noise and discomfort. (See this at ThinkGeek.)

5. Alarm Clock For Those Who Like to Send Things Flying:

Flying Alarm ClockFlying Alarm Clock

The Flying Alarm Clock will have you flying off the bed.

The dratted propeller driven module of the flying Alarm Clock actually spins of the base unit each time the alarm goes off. The catch is, the noisy alarm won't turn off until you retrieve the propeller and place it back on the base. This means you have to get out of bed and search for the pesky propeller which may have landed anywhere.

Playing "find the propeller" will surely get you up and out in the morning. (Via Gizmodo )

6. Alarm Clock For Those Who Like to Rise With the Sun:

Rooster Alarm ClockRooster Alarm Clock

You realize you've been too long away from home when you feel the need for a Rooster Alarm Clock .

It will crow away all your sleep every morning!

It is definitely not for the chicken hearted though.

7. Alarm Clock For Those Need Some Discipline:

Drill Sargeant Alarm ClockDrill Sargeant Alarm Clock

Your every waking moment is spent putting order and discipline in your life.

The Drill Sargeant Alarm Clock is just right for you.

After a bugle plays "Reveille" your personal Drill Sargeant shall clear all the cobwebs from your brain with an inspiring round of orders you can't fail to obey.

8. Alarm Clock For Those Who Like To Live Dangerously:

Fire Bell Alarm ClockFire Bell Alarm Clock

When nothing works its time for the fire alarm.

Fire Bell Alarm Clock lets out a shrill alarm that is bound to not only wake you up but your neighbors too.

So here's your chance to be a Good Samaritan every morning.

9. Alarm Clock For Those Who Like to Fix Things:

The Puzzle Alarm ClockThe Puzzle Alarm Clock

Crosswords and Sudokus are not enough for you.

The Puzzle Alarm Clock is the answer to your needs.

It wakes you up by firing four puzzles pieces up in the air and then you can happily get to the task of putting them back in the Alarm Clock as it wont turn off until you do it.

10. Alarm Clock For Those Who Like to Shoot Things:

Gun Alarm ClockGun Alarm Clock

Whether we like to acknowledge it or not, we all have a dark murky side to us, just wishing to lay our hands on a gun and shoot away all the ills that bother us. Go ahead, pick up a gun and bang... shoot the Alarm Clock! Roger Ibars Gun Operated Alarm Clock turns off only when it is shot at. What a great way to begin your morning indeed.

11. Alarm Clock For Those Who Like Excitement:

DangerBomb Alarm ClockDangerBomb Alarm Clock

If everything else fails to awaken you then the Danger Bomb Alarm Clock is the only answer to your needs.

It looks like a bomb made by terrorists but follows a simple enough rule-to stop the ringing disconnect the right cable (which is randomly decided everyday )


So, have you figured out which Alarm Clock is best suited for your temperament? Though the list is quite exhaustive, I'm sure I have not covered the entire range of humanity or the the clocks.

So write to me and tell me about any more.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Pearls of Wisdom

  1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

  2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

  3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

  4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

  5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

  6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

  7. Never lick a steak knife.

  8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

  9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

  10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

  11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

  12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

  13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

  14. Your friends love you anyway.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.